Saturday, November 22, 2008
Out with the tide
In a recent post, entitled A note of support to two good friends, I wrote about the sadness and empathy I felt for two friends of mine that had decided to end their marriage. Well, the tide of dissolution has surged and ebbed, inexorably and painfully. And as it has receded, it has taken many things with it, washed them out to a desolate sea.
Today, I helped pack the worldly possessions of a dear friend, the flotsam that remained to him after the tide, into a U-Haul truck. He's moving north to a new life and a new start. I wish him the best.
I'm hopeful and confident that his new life will give him a better than even chance at being happy, and I'm glad for that. But I'm sad, too. When you get to be my age, you start to recognize when something good is coming to an end. And, as we hauled boxes and furniture out to the U-Haul, I saw it plain as day.
I have a long list of friends that I've compiled over my lifetime. With many of these good people, the tides of life have swept us apart over the years. Relationships fade... even relationships that had once been so meaningful and intimate that just a glance or an inside joke could serve as well as an entire conversation. There may be a sporadic phone call every few years, or even an occasion to get together and reminisce, but the warm feelings are based on memories, not on a vital, growing relationship.
And today, I acknowledge the inevitability of it. My friend, a friend that traveled halfway around the world with me, that journeyed through the maelstrom of Mahatma Candy and employment transitions, and bouts of heavy drinking and chaos, that stood by my side as I married my wife, is moving on to the next phase in his life.
The tide has gone out, and on the gray horizon I see my friend, paddling out with it in his U-Haul kayak. Godspeed, David!