Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sister Sarah's farewell tour: Weep, ye tea-baggers!

"It was all a dream, wasn't it? A beautiful, beautiful dream...
It's a pitiful state of affairs, really.

Here comes Sweet Sister Sarah, down from Alaska, brandishing that man-slaying wink of hers, and dropping in on Oprah and Barbra to chat about her new book:  Going Rogue:  An American Life.  Although I won't be reading it myself, I'm sure the book is destined to find its way onto every future bookshelf alongside leather-bound volumes of For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

What I find pitiful is the manner in which each tea-bag conservative, man and woman alike, laps up Sarah's every word like milk from the cow.  So enamored are they of this perfect vision of feminine, apple-pie wholesomeness that it matters not at all that everything she says... every... single... thing... is plain-as-day evidence that the woman has got nothing worth mentioning going on in the "smarts" department.  Don't believe me?  Take a look here or here, and see what you think.  Be objective!

How very sad!  Sometimes, all I can manage is a disbelieving laugh.  Can these people, these "conservatives" really and truly believe in this woman?  Do they actually imagine that she has a plan to lead them all back to the political Promised Land?  The woman who could not manage even to complete her one term as Governor of Alaska?

(And, yes, apparently they do!  See here or here!)

My friend Dave told me that he read somewhere that they love Sarah Palin because they believe that she will attack all those whom they despise: all the liberals and the illegal immigrants and the socialists and the Muslims and the smart women who make them feel inferior.  And because of that, she can do no wrong in their eyes.  

Well, let me take this opportunity to point out the obvious for any tea-bag patriot who might read these words:

Sarah Palin is not going to run for president.

She will soon disappear from public life to her home in Alaska, diving right back into the soap opera world she knew before Mad Johnny and the Boys came calling.  

For a while she'll pop up for a speaking appearance or some ceremony or another.  That will continue for as long as you continue to pay for it with your hard-earned money.  (But she won't be doing many political events.  Republicans don't take her seriously.  Ask David Brooks or Charles Krauthammer.)

Eventually, you'll wise up, and the money won't be as forth-coming.  She'll go away then.  You'll forget her as soon as you can find a replacement.

But right now, she is getting the reward that was promised to her by right-wing kingmakers.  She is getting rich.  And she's getting rich off you.  And you get nothing in return.

I wish I could say you read it here first.


Cecil said...

I like Sarah Palin, but I am not at obsessively worked up over her as you are; in fact, no one I know gets as overheated about her as do those on the Left. She will just go on the talking circuits and be just another talking head out there. Relax, or you will have a stroke.

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin is a fake the minute she opens her mouth she screams idiot. As a woman who has voted independent, I do not conjure up the word rogue anything when I think of her or hear her speak. I think of other words like phony, nitwit, silly, egomanic and more words that I will not write here.
But she is funny and provides me with many chuckles and good Saturday night live material and that I would miss.

Anonymous said...

Actually Cecil, I'm a Republican of almost 3 decades, and I find her to be loathsome and despicable.

Mayor of a two-bit town, Governor of a state that receives more federal aid per capita than any other, yet presumes to advocate an anti-federal stance, whiner, ignorant of public affairs and a quitter. There is nothing positive about this lady.

What is more amazing are the thousands of idiots she has fooled. That is what really saddens me, realizing just how gullible citizens of this once great nation have become.

So few who think for themselves...They just spew Argementum ad Populum lines from talk radio.

Anonymous said...

OH Dade, how sad you must be that she is NOT running for president. One thing I can tell you is that Obama won't be getting a second term.
I'm a socially liberal (pro-choice, legalize the Gonja) fiscally conservative Republican. Yes, there aren't that many of us left. ANYTHING is better than Obama. If you're a socialist then RUN as a socialist.
Anybody who opposes that moron is ok in my book.