Shocker: No blanket pardons from Junior!

No goodies in the goody-bag for these two.

Leave it to Junior to make a monkey out of me on his way out the door. Here I was, all ready to let forth with a stream of outraged invective as Junior snuck through a ream of last-minute presidential pardons. I had expected a flurry of sneaky pardons to fly out the White House door, eradicating any path to justice that just might lead to Junior or Big Dick. And then Junior surprises me and everyone else by issuing exactly two pardons for two Border Patrol agents, Jose Compean and Ignacio Ramos, and giving everybody else a goose egg!

Knock me over with a flippin' feather! I simply can't believe it.

I thought for sure that there would be pardons for Karl Rove and Alberto Gonzales for their roles in the shenanigans that went on in the Justice Department.

None for little Scooter, neither.

I thought Scooter Libby would get a pardon for his lying to save Big Dick from answering any questions about the Plame Affair.

I thought Rumsfeld and Big Dick himself might get preemptory pardons for authorizing interrogation techniques that are clearly in violation of the Geneva Convention.

I thought former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens might get a pardon for his seven bribery convictions.

I thought there would be pardons for the myriad of bit-player schmucks convicted or suspected of various mischief: David Safavian, Monica Goodling, et alia.

But, according to reporting done by Michael Isikoff for Newsweek, Bush is through issuing pardons. He's going back to his Texas s**thole, leaving his flunkies to fend for themselves.

Sorry, boys. No pardons for you.

That means that the investigations that are promised by House Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers and his Senate counterpart, Senator Patrick Leahy, can move forward. That means that the Justice Department under Eric Holder could get involved, that we could see investigations and even indictments handed down to former Bush administration officials...

...unless, of course, somebody cut a deal...