Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Let it go, Anthony

Congressman Weiner, do you mind if I call you "Anthony?"

Never mind.  I'm gonna call you "Anthony."

This is all you, Anthony.  You blew it, buddy.  You got no one to blame but yourself. 

Dude!  There's no such thing as privacy nowadays.  Any fool knows that. 

Don't think I'm getting all holier-than-thou, either.  So you posted some naughty pictures and engaged in some saucy talk with some women who weren't your wife.  It's sleazy.  It's juvenile.

But sometimes men do sleazy, juvenile things.  Sometimes we do stupid things that we know are stupid even when we do them.  Sometimes we tell ourselves "This is not going to end well," and then we do something stupid anyway.  Don't ask me why, dude!  It's what we do.  I don't know why.

But part of the deal, part of the bargain we make with fate, is that when we do stupid things, we're willing to accept the consequences if it all goes to sh*t.

Well, Anthony, my friend, it's all gone to sh*t.  I think you should resign.

Don't get me wrong.  I'd  miss you, Anthony.  I really like your feistiness and your bombast.  I love the way you let the Republicans have it.  Like this time when you told fear-monger Peter King to sit down.

But, buddy, when it's time, it's time.

You got no friends, Anthony.  Nancy Pelosi is calling for an Ethics Committee investigation.  She has no choice.  You know that. And, buddy, I know it burns like fire that it's that Breitbart assh*le who got you. Part of the price of doing stupid things, buddy.

Look at the bright side.  If you can save your marriage (which, by the way, I'd advise should be your first priority) you can still come out of this alright.  A media-savvy guy like you can make a mint working the cable talkie circuit.  Look at Eliott Spitzer!  He's doin' alright.  I know it's not the same as being a congressman or the Mayor of New York City but, Anthony, you did that stupid thing you did. 

And even though you got caught with your pants down, at least you weren't a "family values" hypocrite like Vitter the Sh*tter, or Larry Craig, or John Ensign.  You got that goin' for you.

You know, your constituents probably would have forgiven you for the naughty pictures.  But the lying, Anthony... the lying.  People don't like it when you look them in the eye and lie to them.

Think about this:  every day you spend twisting in the wind provides a smokescreen for Republicans who are even now working their black magic in the debt ceiling negotiations.  You don't want to help them, do you?

Do me a favor and go now, will you, Anthony?  I promise I'll watch your show.


Ridwan said...

Funny post brother. You crack me up when you put your foot where the ...

Peace Dade,

Myidonttrustyouaccount said...

"Family Values" like John Edwards fathering a bastard love child while his wife dies of cancer.

It's good to see Obama's attack dog get his ass kicked day in and day out. What's the thing all 3 of you have in common? Say it with me: all of you are devoid of shame, class or honor.