Thursday, February 03, 2011
Dreamworld by Vicodin
Yesterday, I parted ways with my mandibular second molar (#18 in the cold parlance of dentistry). No hard feelings. We made a good run of it. But now, I'm all dosed up on Vicodin and appear as though I'm carrying around a cheek full of marbles. Let me tell ya, Vicodin makes for some strange dreams...
Riding around in an open-topped Karmann Ghia with Tiger Woods. He was driving, but the car must have been manufactured for sale in the United Kingdom, because he was seated in the right-hand bucket. We sped around the avenues of Molina Heights in Klamath Falls, Oregon, and eventually headed east on Highway 140, looking for Shield Crest Golf Course. I knew Tiger had missed the turn, but I didn't want to presume to tell him anything at all about golf, so we just kept right on going. Lakeview was out ahead somewhere.
Then Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito and I were seated at a picnic table beside some beech trees out by Rocky Point. Justice Alito was in town to help with the Oregon Institute of Technology Hustlin' Owls football camp, but we were taking a break from the drills and conditioning exercises. "I almost took up acting instead of law," said the Good Justice. "For a while, they considered me for the part of Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs." I found it hard to believe. "But, I thought you were vegetarian..." I protested.
That's just a taste, y'all. There's a lot that is best left unremembered. Besides, at some point in the zany reverie, Maty gave me an insistent shove and told me to roll onto my side so I'd quit snoring.