|"Me no need fancy teleprompter."|
Sarah Palin was at it again last weekend, blathering away in her dizzy, half-baked manner; spouting lots of cotton candy rhetoric, finely-tuned to appeal to tea-bagger ears; driving "serious" Republicans to distraction. And while it is perhaps best to just ignore her (the way one might ignore the public histrionics of a mentally-debilitated homeless person or a down-on-his-luck drunkard), so hilarious and revealing are her antics, that I simply cannot. The vacuous drivel that comes from her mouth is stunningly sophomoric. And it reveals so very much about her, about the people who purport to "believe in her."
The venue was the much-ballyhooed "Tea Party Convention," held in Nashville, Tennessee, over the weekend: supposedly the opening shot of a grass-roots movement that will right all of our country's wrongs by bringing about a "return to conservative principles." And although the price for admission to the event ($549 per person.) seemed to belie its supposed grass-roots nature, there were enough attendees to put up a hearty "Run, Sarah! Run!" when the former Alaska governor stood at the podium.
In support of my previous speculation that Ms. Palin is remaining on the national political scene merely to harvest dollars from her gullible and pathetic fans, the former governor of Alaska was paid over $100,000 to speak at the event.
But, don't worry, tea-baggers. She promises to reinvest all her proceeds into "the movement" (har, har, har). And, in the meantime, you can continue to pay handsomely for all her mavericky wit and wisdom.
Take, for example, these jewels:
- “How’s that hopey-changey thing workin’ out for you?”
- “To win that war, we need a commander in chief, not a professor of law."
- “This is about the people, and it’s bigger than any one king or queen of a tea party, and it’s a lot bigger than any charismatic guy with a teleprompter.”
But, alas, some of the sheen was taken off this shining vision for America when it was revealed that Sarah made use of her own makeshift teleprompter in the interview subsequent to her triumphal speech. During that interview, Sarah bravely fielded questions that had been scripted and submitted to her in advance. But, careful examination of the video reveals that she had scribbled crib notes on the palm of her hand!
It's an old trick that I used myself back in my college days when I used to sweat calculus exams. But instead of trigonometric derivatives, Sarah had scrawled these powerful words: "energy, tax cuts, lift American spirits."
Well, I'll tell ya: as she continues leading her faithful into a slow-motion political car crash, all the while relieving them of their disposable income, I'm positively flummoxed as to whether I should laugh or cry.
Oh, please...oh, please!
And yet, I always choose the former.