Procedure: Determining Your Place in the Universe

Note: On this April Fool's Day, I send this out to all my fellow technical writers. A content-modeled procedure for determining your place in the Universe. 

Determining Your Place in the Universe

Abstract

You can approach enlightenment by accepting what must be.

Prerequisites

Live for enough years to understand that you are not the prime element in an infinite and (perhaps indifferent) Universe. 

Procedure

1. Contemplate instances of triumph and defeat in your life.
   
   Note: This may lead to unsettling revelations about one’s existence.
2. Realize that these events came about because of the infinite circumstances that defined each moment.
   
   Free will was not involved.
3. Read Tolstoy's War and Peace.
• Examine Tolstoy's portrayal of Napoleon Bonaparte.
• Contrast the world views of Pierre Bezukhov and Prince Bolkonsky.
  
  
4. Wrestle with the implications of your demoted position in the Universe relative to your previous beliefs.
5. Don't despair.
6. Proceed as described in the following table:
   
   

If you want to ...	Read...
Laugh	Blood Meridian (Cormac McCarthy)
Cry	The Mysterious Stranger (Mark Twain)
Rage at the injustice of it	Moby Dick (Herman Melville)



7. Recognize the freedom in submission.

Results

Your consciousness should approach that depicted in Figure 1.

Figure 1. New Awareness

For More Information

Consult the following writings:

• Torah
• Bible
• Koran
• Upanishads